The Joy Of Missing Out this Holiday Season
Somatic Therapy San Francisco
As a provider of somatic therapy in San Francisco, I see the sheer amount of anxiety and dread many people go through each year when it comes to the holiday season. Social obligations such as parties and family dinners can take overwhelm calendars and cause friction in families. Obligated gift giving, the intense pressure to express and FEEL joy and gratitude during this season, and the expectation to follow family traditions can all lead to feeling stressed and increases in anxiety or depression. However, this holiday season, I have been encouraging people to lean into the the joy of missing out (rather than fear of missing out, which seems to drive many people!)
So how do we start allowing ourselves to miss out and lean into the joy of saying no during the holiday season? Where do we even start? Keep reading below to find out how to realize what you actually need and ask for it, even if it means “missing out.”
A Somatic Therapist in San Francisco’s Tips to Find the Joy In Missing Out This Holiday Season
1) Get Some Time To Yourself
It’s really hard to discern what you actually need when you are around other people. Take a little bit of time to do a self check-in and ask yourself “How am I feeling? What do I need?” Repeat this as many times a day as necessary.
2) Listen To Your Body
Are your shoulders tense? When is the last time you took a deep breath? Take a minute to notice the different sensations in your body and what they might be telling you. Your physical body sends signals all the time about how you are feeling. If the thought of attending a certain party leaves your stomach in knots then perhaps it is time to. . .
3) Say No and/or Make Excuses
If your body is telling you that specific events or people are too much, it is time to opt out. Your body and nervous system will let you know when you are stressed and overwhelmed, provided that you listen! If you have difficulty saying no directly, Natalie Lue’s blog offers some scripts (and some insight!)
4) When In Doubt, Say No Some More!
Seriously. If your body is still giving you signs to slow down, listen to it. Yes, some friends or family members may be upset but they are adults and can handle their emotions. And if they can’t handle their emotions well, then that is for them to learn how to cope. However *YOU* are not responsible for others’ emotions.
5) If Guilt Starts To Creep In, Refocus!
If you notice that you are starting to feel guilty (or are around people that are doing their best to feel guilty), repeat a phrase to yourself such as “I am doing my best and I deserve to rest and enjoy the holiday, too.” If you can, go do activities that you enjoy and that help you feel refreshed in order to take your mind off your guilt. The guilt is not necessarily a sign that what you are doing is wrong; It may just be that you have been taught to feel guilty when you focus on yourself and your needs or desires.
Lastly, if you notice you have trouble with people-pleasing, saying no, noticing what you need, or taking care of yourself, therapy may be helpful! Somatic therapy San Francisco may be particularly useful for you to begin to befriend sensations in your body and find out what emotions you are actually feeling. Please reach out to me if you have questions or need resources: lisa@lisamanca.com and happy holidays!