How to Manage Holiday Stress and Anxiety—Anxiety Therapy in San Francisco
As an anxiety therapist in San Francisco, I have noticed that there is a spike in stress around the holidays. While some of us love the holidays, there are definitely reasons to be stressed and anxious during this time of year. There is the travel, time with family, extra expense, and the pressure to be social and enjoy the holiday season. With all of these variables and depending on how relationships are with family (both chosen and/or family of origin), many people would rather skip the holidays altogether. Rather than take the drastic step of reducing stress and anxiety by skipping your holiday gathering, here are 3 suggestions to help maintain your mental health during the holiday season.
1) Examine Your Expectations
Holidays tend to bring out the unrealistic expectations in the best of us. Whether it is thinking that your dysfunctional family is going to have a perfect Hallmark channel type meal together or that every single relative will appreciate the gifts you choose, it is common to have expectations of events and people that have a fraction of a chance of actually occurring. If you can start to identify your unrealistic expectations for the holidays and instead allow yourself to have expectations that are grounded in reality, the holidays may carry less disappointment or stress. Yes, it isn’t fun to admit that Aunt Janet will still be rude and try to insult people. . .however if you start with that expectation you can figure out how to deal with her behavior. Which lead us to. . .
2) Set Your Boundaries
Once you have evaluated your expectations (and possibly brought them back down to earth) you may find yourself needing to set boundaries with family or friends. For example, if you realized you could not go to 3 different events in one day, you should pick one event that you will actually enjoy attending. You may get guilt tripped and disappoint relatives but at least you will not disappoint (or exhaust) yourself. If you find you need to set a boundary, be firm but polite. Don’t explain or argue. It may help to stick to a phrase such as “I’m sorry it’s not possible for us to attend this year.” Feel free to disengage or change topics if the person you are speaking to is not listening e.g. “I understand that you are upset but I won’t be changing my mind. Let’s change the subject.”
3) Plan Your Self-Care Routine and Stick To It
If you have decided what your holiday routine will be and who you are visiting, figure out what you will need to do to take care of yourself during this time. Do you do best with 8 hours of sleep? Daily exercise? A little bit of alone time? During the holidays, we often neglect our self-care in favor of celebrations and time with friends or family. As a result, you may feel worse both emotionally and physically than during other times of the year. Make sure you make time for you.
Finally, if you need any help navigating your anxiety and stress during this holiday season or have questions about anxiety therapy in San Francisco, please feel free to reach out to me, Lisa Manca, MA, LPCC, BC-DMT at (415) 212-8780. Online anxiety therapy is available to fit even the busiest of schedules.